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Don’t let that smile fool you.

Dearest readers (again, like many times before, if you exist.) Today I’m going to try and show you the real me. I feel I haven’t done a good enough job already. Warning, it’s going to get a little personal.

Okay, so, I’m Hannah (who doesn’t know that?) I’m a 20 year old, socially awkward, anxiety ridden excuse for an adult. I just said adult, and it still doesn’t feel right. I still feel 16. I love to make other people happy. Nothing is a better achievement for me than being able to make someone smile when they’re having a shit day, although it’s not always possible, sometimes, you’ve got to let people have their sad days.

I love all things romance. Give me a good story line and a hot guy and I’m yours, hook like and sinker.

I’ll admit I try to portray myself differently online to how I really am in real life, but I think most people do that, it’s our chance of escape, to create a new identity. My face’s favourite colour is red, as it seems to be it’s go to colour every time I get in an uncomfortable situation, or every time I meet new people in general.

I’m as deaf as you like. I’m supposed to wear hearing aids, but choose not to, even though I know it’s not going to benefit me in the long run by not doing so. On the bright side, at least conversations are amusing if I didn’t hear what you said properly.

I’m not going to go into massive amounts of detail, but my anxiety gets the better of me all the time. It’s supposed to be something that you overcome right? you don’t let it define you. Unfortunatly for me, it’s got a nice intense grip on me. Kind of like when you see little kids trying to run away from their parents but they’re wearing one of those harnesses, so it’s never going to happen. But I’m working on it.

I sometimes feel I shouldn’t be defined as female. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t really see anything feminine about myself. Oh wait, I own a handbag, how’s that for feminine? I tend to spend my life in leggings and whatever comfortable pair of shoes and t-shirt are closest at the time. So sue me. I mean, I’ll have the odd occasion where I’ve been watching too much Sex and The City or Gossip Girl, and I find myself parading around like Blair Waldorf for the next couple of days.

Where you’ll find most girls focusing on make up or catching up with friends or even going out clubbing with friends, you’re more likely to find me curled up in bed with a book, or attempting to write myself. I swear my Kindle is the best thing that has ever happened to me. That and Ibooks.

But so what if I’m not like everyone else. Everyone is different in their own way. I’d pick going on long walks and finding new things over going out on a coffee date any day of the week. I’m shy as hell, but I love nothing more than when people laugh at my jokes or find me funny, not so funny when they backfire, oh hello red face.

I hope this helped you and gave you a better insight on me as a person.

Did you enjoy reading this? feel free to tell me a little about yourselves too.

Love always,

Hannah.

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