Speaking out

Good afternoon, world.

It’s been a while, right? I’ve had a rough couple of months to say the least. Feeling like what I really want to do in life, and things I enjoy doing as a pastime, just weren’t good enough.

Until I went on a much needed trip to go and see family last weekend. It was such a huge eye opener. I’ve been living life based on what other people are doing, and worrying about other people’s views about me, when, in reality, I should have only be concerned about myself and those around me.

From now on I plan on doing what makes me happy, and bettering myself as a person both physically and mentally, and if the way I do things seems ‘wrong’ to other people, then, it doesn’t really matter. They aren’t living my life, and what I do to better myself and my life is my decision and fuck what any one else thinks.

I’m fed up with seeing all these bullshit motivational quotes that people put online to make themselves feel better. Get the fuck over it. Stop shoving your shit online about how proud you are that you have stretch marks, news flash, there are hundreds of thousands of people out in the world who have them too, and people posting about how ‘people aren’t alone’ because you also suffer with the big A word. (Anxiety for those of you who are unaware.) Who the fuck doesn’t deal with it these days? Sharing pointless crap about how ‘mental illness is a big deal’ but all you’re doing is sitting there behind your phone/laptop screen reposting shit and not doing anything about it.

Fed up with pointless crap in the world. People who live on social media or just generally preach shit and then do nothing about it. If you’re not going to try and help yourself or anyone else, pipe the fuck down.

I really can’t be bothered with it all any more.

Love always,

Hannah.

 

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Self pity party.

It’s not necessarily that time of the year, y’know, the one where everyone is like “January is the most depressing month” obviously because it’s Feb already.

I am starting to believe that I am the queen of feeling sorry for myself, with a little help from the people around me sometimes.

When your best just isn’t good enough, so you just stop bothering all together, or when you do try and you get shot down for it.

I feel in a weird mind set recently, and I don’t want to put it down to no longer taking antidepressants (which were prescribed for anxiety, calm it.) I only took them for like 3 months any way.

I just honestly wish people could see the world the way I see it. Or maybe even just appreciate my loves in life. I don’t know.

I just ramble a lot, I guess.

Love always,

Hannah.

Change.

Good morning beauties.

Isn’t it funny how quickly a person can adapt to another and pick up their habits?

I remember being 16 years old and in a new and exciting relationship with my current boyfriend (well, as exciting as it gets being 16 years old.) It was the first night that my mum had allowed said boyfriend to stay over, and so shoot me, yes, we slept in the same bed. God forbid, right? I remember turning over, as you do in that sleepy ‘should I wake up or have another couple hours’ haze and seeing my boyfriend staring at me, wide eyed, with a sleepy half smile on his face. I looked at him and said “what’s the time?” his reply, to my dismay was “half 7.” My reply being “nope.”Before turning back over and going back to sleep. Let’s bare in mind that before him, I couldn’t hold a coherent conversation within an hour of being awake. I wanted to be left alone and communication was my least favourite thing in the world.

5 Years down the road, I’m awake before him and practically dragging him out of bed by his feet on weekends. Hounding him for attention and conversation in the early hours of Saturday mornings.

I just think it’s funny how little things change you as a person.

Love always,

Hannah.

Bigger, brighter year.

Good evening dearest readers.

2016 has finally been and gone, and here we are welcoming 2017 hoping for a bigger, better, brighter year. Well, that’s what I’m hoping for any way. One can always dream.

I brought in the new year the exact same way as most of the people that I know did.. fast asleep. I mean, it doesn’t get much more exciting than that, does it? Am I right or am I right?!

With a bit of luck this year will be nothing but positive and I’ll have achieved a lot and overcome more, and maybe actually start to live my life the way a 21 year old should be living.

Any way, my lovelies, I’ll be back tomorrow with a brand new post.

Love always,

Hannah.

Moving on

Dear reader, it’s okay to feel.

Forget everything you’ve ever been told about trying to get over some one quickly or ‘you just need to move on’ because the truth of the matter is that you don’t. Let all those raw emotions hit you, FEEL them, live them, breathe them. “The best way to get over someone is to get under someone” is the biggest lie you’ll ever hear.

No. Turn off that romantic comedy you’re watching, put all your romance novels to once side and just think about it. You’ve been through a lot, and don’t listen to anyone who says ‘are you still not over them?’ take all the time you need.

Don’t be scared of that empty, numb feeling that you’re feeling right now.. because at least you’re acknowledging it. Don’t try to push it all away because, in the end, it’s only going to come back and bite you in the arse.

Embrace every heart breaking tear and every painful second passing where you think ‘how am I going to deal with this?’ because the truth of the matter is that you will. You’ll reach a point where you’ve forgotten all about the hurt, and you’re suddenly back to yourself, maybe even happier.

It’s okay to still think about all the good times you shared, it’s okay to be upset by them or to find yourself smiling about them with tears running down your cheeks. Don’t forget them, because they’re still a part of helping you become the person that you’re going to be.

Throw out the old pity party and don’t run away from your feelings anymore, you’re just making it worse. Honey, you can do it. You can move on.

Love always,

Hannah.

Goodbye 2016.

Dear online diary…

It’s official I’m over 2016. From the weight gain to the mental struggles I’ve been dealing with, 2016 can literally (excuse my language.) Fuck off. 2017 will hopefully bring so many more positive things to my life. I’m going to work on myself more, and what I want and just focus on the important things in life and not waste any more time.

I’m so so so ready for this year to be over, so ready to work on myself and try to achieve the goals I had already set for this year. I’m not about the ‘new year, new me’ it’s more ‘new year, better me.” Why strive to be a completely different person, when you can just strive to work on yourself a little.

I hope you guys have an amazing new year, I won’t be posting again until New Year’s Day.. (Not that I’ve done well with keeping to any kind of schedule any way.) But, here’s to an amazing new year, and what I hope will be my best year yet.

How’s that for inspiration?

Love always,

Hannah.

Let’s play!

Good evening world, what a productive day it has been!

I’m writing this post to inform you that I have started a Sims 4 Let’s play, which is currently being uploaded to Youtube (probably won’t be up until tomorrow, internet depending.) The second it is up, I’ll write a post and link my channel! Hope you guys enjoy it as much as I enjoyed making it! Feedback depending I shall hopefully be uploading regular LP’s and with a bit of luck will have developed an intro and outro, until then my lovelies.

Love always,

Hannah.

Christmas Countdown.

Good morning my beautiful readers.

I am currently sat at the table with a steaming hot cup of coffee, and I hope you’re doing the same.

6 Days to Christmas and counting. I think it is absolutely mad at how quickly this year has flown by!

I’m out here writing down new years resolutions, waiting for the new year. Come at me, bitch.

This year, aside from today and hopefully the rest of the week, really hasn’t felt like Christmas at all. I’m just thinking about the amount of calories I’m going to be consuming over the two days of Christmas that will be upon us before we know it and I’m like ‘dayum, girl, brace yourself for the huge food baby you’re going to be carrying soon’ cause we all know a bitch loves to stuff her face at Christmas… Okay, all the time, but who’s telling?

Speaking of new year, I have big plans for my blog and I am DYING hoping that you guys are going to love everything that is yet to come.

Hope you guys having an amazing Christmas, and love all the posts that are yet to come for the rest of the week.

I’m back, baby.

Love always,

Hannah.

Christmas Festivities

Good afternoon world, I know it’s been a while.

I am currently sat here with a big mug of coffee, pondering my life and what the future holds.

As the Christmas season is upon us, and the weather has turned and there are a million and one colds and flu’s going around, my body has decided to give me a coldsore (coleslaw for those of you who watch The Secret Life Of 4, 5 and 6 year olds.)

Along with that my body is rejecting any kind of exercise this month (though I have tried.) Why attempt fitness when I can ‘fitness whole pizza in my mouth’ instead? I’m sorry, I just had to, I saw it somewhere on social media and it had me in stitches. Not to mention that pizza ACTUALLY IS my favourite food in the whole world, oh, and pasta, because carbs. Need I say more?

I think it’s mad how quickly Christmas has decided to be upon us, 8 days until Christmas eve and I don’t quite know how I’m coping with life. But excited would be the biggest understatement! Something about this time of year just makes me feel great. I think it’s because it’s so family orientated and festive that I love it so much.

However, I am the biggest failure when it comes to wrapping gifts, so good thing I’ve got my wonderful boyfriend to do it for me, and if that fails, I’m sure I can convince my mum to give me a hand! haha.

How is your Christmas going so far?

Love always,

Hannah.